For the best
by Soofija
Summary: “We...we can’t keep doing this,” she said. “We have to stop it.” He just nodded and pulled her into his bed. She let him do it, wanting to feel his arms around her one last time. HGDM, complete!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing what so ever from Harry Potter, no characters, no places, nothing. It all belong to J.K. Rowling. But I do own the plot, no-one can take that away from me. And this disclaimer is for the whole story. 

**Author's notes:** So I'm back again. Those of you who's read some of my "works" before, know that I write a lot of different stuff, and now the turn has come to Harry Potter. All though this isn't very much about he himself, it's more about Hermione and Draco.

So I hope you are all going to like this, leave me a review so I know what you think. And if you don't like it, tell me what you don't like (GAFF-people are NOT welcome!).

Enjoy!

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**Prologue **

Hermione lay on her bed late one cold Novermber's night. She couldn't sleep. She had a decision to make. A hard one. _I'm right,_ she tried to tell herself. _This is for the best._ But, as we all know, the mind doesn't always work as we want it to (does it ever?), and instead of going to sleep, satisfied with leaving it all behind, she began to remember it all over again.

It'd all began that same autumn. In fact, it'd began as soon as she saw him on the Hogwarts express. She'd dreaded the moment all summer, mainly because she'd been the one who'd killed his father in the war the previous spring. And now, because she was Head Girl and he was Head Boy, she'd have to live in the same dormitory as him for the whole year. It would be a lie to say that she didn't fear for her life.

But when she'd entered the Head's compartment, she'd seen him sitting there with his feet on the seat, and she'd stopped fearing him. He hadn't looked friendly, oh no, far from it. He'd been glaring at her, as if visualizing the best way to chop her head off, but she hadn't thought it was personal. Over the summer before their seventh and last year at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy seemed to have developed a hate towards the entire world.

It'd taken almost three weeks before they'd started talking to each other about other things than Head's business. It'd started off with a simple 'good morning' when they met in the common room on their way to breakfast, and a 'good night' when they went to bed in the evenings. But then they'd taken to walk together down to the Great Hall every morning, trying very hard to keep a normal conversation, and they'd proceeded to read their homework together, finding out that it was much easier to ask the other for help than ponder the problem all night. And they'd also found out that the other wasn't such a bad person as they'd thought for six years. They'd even started liking each other.

But everything always ended when they were among other people. Neither of them wanted their friends to know that they actually talked to each other in normal voices. And if anyone had asked them, they couldn't have said why.

Hermione had never thought the day would come when she dreamed anything but nightmares about Draco, but one night in October, she woke up, blushing and panting. She'd dreamed that she'd been making love to him, and it'd been the most wonderful thing she'd ever done. Ashamed of her own dream, Hermione had just sat in her bed for a long time, trying to calm her racing heart. But after a few minutes she'd reached for the water glass on her bedside table, only to find it empty.

"Damn it!" she'd mumbled, and reluctantly climbed out of bed.

It'd been pure luck that her legs had been able to carry her all the way downstairs, but she'd reached the water jug in the common room in one piece, and she'd drunk her water. But when she'd turned around again to walk back to her room, she'd found Draco sleeping on one of the couches with an open book on his chest.

Hermione hadn't been able to stop her thoughts from returning to her dream, and she'd found herself slowly walking towards the sleeping man on the couch. When she'd reached him she'd knelt beside him, not sure what she was doing. But her body had seemed to work on its own, and she'd reached out and touched his relaxed lips. It'd been a gentle touch, light as a feather, but it'd been enough to wake him. When Hermione had felt him stir beneath her hand, she'd quickly pulled back, and she'd found herself looking into a pair of sleepy silver-grey eyes.

None of them had said anything, but very slowly, Draco har reached up and pulled her closer with a hand behind her head. Hermione had obeyed without struggle, and they'd made love right there on the floor in front of the dying fire.

The next morning had been very awkward. They'd woken up almost at the same time, lying naked in each other's arms and having missed their first class. Hermione had dressed fast as lightning and run up to her room. She'd changed into her school robes, grabbed her things and run downstairs again. But just as she was about to exit through the portrait, Draco had grabbed her from behind and pressed her up against the wall. After having kissed her breathless, he'd pulled back and looked at her.

"We need to talk," he'd said, and then he'd hurried off to his next class.

It hadn't become much of a talk that night. They'd ended up just like the previous, naked on the floor. But somehow they'd managed to get up and into his bed, and that'd been where Hermione had woken up the next morning. When she'd opened her eyes, she found Draco looking at her.

"Good morning," she'd smiled and stretched her arms above her head.

Draco's eyes had wandered to her naked breasts, and Hermione had pulled the cover up in embarrassment.

"No, don't." He'd bent down and kissed her, letting his lips travel down her neck. "I could get use to this," she'd heared him mumble, and that had brought a smile to her lips.

They'd walked together down to breakfast that morning, their arms around each other, but when they'd reached the Great Hall, they'd both let go and went to their seperate tables, not even looking at each other.

And their lives had kept on going like that. Loving each other in private, hating each other in public. They'd without words agreed to keep their relationship a secret, Hermione hadn't told neither Harry and Ron nor Ginny. And that was why she was right now lying wide awake in her bed, planning to break up with Draco. _It's for the best,_ she told herself over and over again, and breaking her own heart a little every time. She was seriously starting to believe that she loved him, and that gave her even more of a reason to end it. She couldn't bare to keep lying to Harry and Ron, and she whole heartedly believed in friends before lovers.

She took a deep breath and climbed out of bed. When she stood on the floor, she closed her eyes. _You can do this, it's for the best._ She took another deep breath and walked out of her room, across the hall and over to Draco's door.

"Draco?" she whispered and knocked. She didn't hear an answer from inside, but she whispered the password to the door anyway, and went inside.

He was lying in bed, and she walked over and knelt beside him. "Draco?" she whispered again.

His eyeslids fluttered, and then he was looking at her with those silver-grey eyes that she couldn't resist. He reached out to pull her into the bed, but she shook her head.

"We...we can't keep doing this," she said, still whispering, even though there was no-one there she could wake up. "We have to stop it."

He just nodded, as if agreeing with her, and pulled her into his bed. Hermione let him do it, wanting to feel his arms around her one last time.

They took their time, touching as if to remember each other forever, loving as if it was the last thing they'd ever do. Hermione thought there was something final in Draco's way of holding her, and when he finally fell asleep, she lay awake, letting her tears wet his pillows, and when she had no more tears to cry, she reluctantly left his embrace and collected her clothes from the floor. In the doorway she stopped, turned around and looked at him. _It's for the best,_ she thought, and went back to her own cold bed.

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**Author's notes: **So this could probably go as a one-shot too, but that's not the plan. And you all know the ruels: 

REVIEW!


	2. Out of the dream

**Author's notes: **OMG! I was hoping for maybe five or six reviews, but 28! You guys are the best, do you know that? Thanks so much to EVERYBODY!

I'd wanted to post this chapter a bit earlier, but I've been really, really busy, and I didn't now wether or not to actually continue the story or just leave it is a one-shot. I'm still not sure, so this chapter is sort of like an experiment lol And please be patient with me if it takes this long, or even longer for the next chapter to appear, for even though I have the whole story in my head, I'm not sure how to write it down, and I want it all to be perfect.

And now, over to the thank you:s:

**Serlene: **I didn't know you could make a plot work after just one chapter, so I take that as a compliment lol

**Blue-EyedHope:** Wow! That review really took my breath away lol I really don't know what to say except for thank you, thank you thank you! Soft and caressing, and a range of emotions, my, my lol But I think that tone is gone now. I ment to write that last chapter sort of like a dream, unreal, you know. And now it's back to reality again, do you know what I mean? Well, anyway, thanks so much for that review, I really appreciated it.

**Panther Eyes:** Did that really make you want to cry? I can't believe that! My writing, making someone want to cry! I thought it was only me who was that sentimental lol And it wasn't really the end...well, not yet anyway.

**Kimi:** Duct tape my hands to the keyboard? Well, I suppose I'll have to take that threat seriously and keep writing then lol Thanks so much for the review, one of the more original ones.

**Maddy-Black:** I really know what you mean. It kind of ruins the reading when it's badly written, even if the story is very good. I've read many fics like that, and I really hope I'm a better writer than many of those are. Thanks so much for the review.

**Eruliss: **Hello darling, are you back again? You know, I don't want you reading if you don't like it, but you know I always appreciate your opinions, honey lol Thanks anyway, even if it wasn't all cherry lol

And everybody else, who decided to write me a line, thanks so much, love you guys!

**Amalia Bradley -**notlefmot**-PHATTiExx -**brghtes crayon89** - S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.f.e -**Kathea**-mAI -**Lady in the Blue Dress **- Remyslove -**Bea** - The-Legend-Begins - **EquestrianBabe** -defyingXXXgravity -**anonymous** - melissafelton-622 - **sw33t intoxication**- nOx-slythrnbabe -**bright eyes **-Christine1889 -** Gi Xian- coursework sorri not writing for a while **-Eireann Dubh -** **666Morgan L Fey777**

Enjoy!**

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****Part I – Three weeks later**

Hermione was sitting in Potions, trying very hard to concentrate on what Professor Snape was saying, but finding it almost impossible. Lately she'd found almost everything impossible, and what wasn't impossible was boring. She put her chin in her hands. _Look interested, look interested,_ she thought to herself. _And do NOT look to your right, one row back, blond hair, grey eyes._ During the past three weeks, her eyes seemed to have disconnected themselfs from her brain, and every time she was in the same room as Draco, he was the only thing she saw.

She hadn't talked to him since that night, and she didn't know if that was good or bad. When she'd come down to breakfast that morning, he'd been sitting at the Slytherin table, talking lively to his friends, not even looking at her. At first she'd been hurt by his total lack of feeling, but then she'd realized it was probably for the best. If he'd looked heartbroken, she would probably have jumped off her seat and ran across the Hall and thrown herself into his arms.

The beel rang and pulled Hermione back to the dungeons.

"...and I want them on my desk in a month. I will tear those that are late or shorter than four feet, understood? Class dismissed."

The class began pouring into the corridor, and Hermione tried to find Harry and Ron in the crowd. She had a very strong feeling that she might have missed something very important that Snape had said.

She reached the Entrance Hall without having seen neither Harry nor Ron, and since it was dinnertime, she decided that she could just as well go into the Great Hall and eat and hope they were there.

When she reached the Gryffindor table, she found them both sitting there, and she took a seat across from them.

"Did I miss something in Potions?" she said without greeting them first.

Ron nodded, his mouth full of fried potatos. "He's having us do this huge essay in a month!" he answered after having swallowed the food. "Four feet long! How on Earth are we suppose to manage that?"

Hermione just shrugged her shoulders, poured some vegetables onto her plate and began pushing them around with her fork, her hand supporting her head.

"Hey, 'Mione, is there something wrong?" Harry sounded very concerned.

She shrugged her shoulders again. "No, why d'you ask?"

"Because you've been acting weird for the past month or so, not listening to the teachers, not doing your homework with the same enthusiasm as before. Not eating." Harry pointed at her plate.

"I'm eating," Hermione said and took a mouthfull of peas. "I'm jus' no' 'ungry 'oday." She swallowed. "Really, Harry, there's nothing at all wrong with me."

Harry still looked doubtful, but he kept quiet and returned to his dinner. At the same time Ginny showed up.

"Hi everyone," she said. "Can I sit here?" She pointed at the seat where Hermione had thrown her bag.

"Sure." Hermione took her bag. "Listen, guys, I need to start working at this essay right away, but I'll be in the library if you need me, ok?" She left the table without waiting for a response.

"She was in a hurry," Ginny said, filling her plate with food. "Lots of homework?"

"Yeah, Snape gave us this four feet essay on an ingredients of our choice to be done in a month," Ron said, his attention more focused on his food than on his sister. "Guess Hermione want it done as soon as possible, you know how she is."

Ginny nodded, and then realized that Harry wasn't saying anything.

"What's up with you, Harry? You look like you're having your head in the clouds."

Harry shook his head. "I was just thinking about Hermione. Something's wrong with her, she's not the same as before."

Ginny put her fork down. "What d'you mean? She seems allright to me."

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe I'm imagining, but one thing I know for sure. She was not off to do that essay." Both Ron and Ginny raised their eyebrows. "She doesn't know what it's about."

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Hermione put the book down, at last giving up trying to read. She looked around her, finding the library alomst empty. She had gone there like she'd said to the others at dinner, but not to do her homework. She hadn't listened at all in classes lately, so she hardly had any idea what she was suppose to do. She hadn't thought anyone had noticed her absentmindedness, but apparently, Harry had. She'd fled the dinner table to avoid his questions, she knew she wouldn't be able to lie for much longer. Well, tecnically, it wasn't lying, she just avoided telling them the truth. But to her, it was just as bad. 

_But just tell them about Draco and take the consequences,_ her conscious tried to tell her.

_**And have them hate me for the rest of my life, no thank you!**_

She folded her arms on the table and put her head on top. Why couldn't life just be simple?

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Ginny found Hermione in that position an hour later. During dinner she'd thought about what Harry'd said, and she'd realized that he might be right. Hermione wasn't quite as...she'd been before. Of course it was hard to tell, since Hermione spent almost all her time in the Head's dormitory, but Ginny knew her friend, she knew something was wrong, and she was determined to find out what. 

She gently shoke Hermione's shoulder, and her head flew up.

"What's wrong, what did I miss?"

Ginny smiled and sat down on the chair beside her. "Nothing's wrong, you just fell asleep." She looked at the book Hermione had used as a pillow. "That's not homework, is it?"

Hermione also looked down at the book. _Jane Eyre._ She blushed. "No, and it's not magic either."

Ginny's face wore the same conserned expression Harry's had barely hours before. "Hermione, are you really feeling allright?"

Hermione looked innocent. "Yes, of course, why wouldn't I?"

"It's just...well...you're not the same as before. Harry said you barely eat anything, and that you don't pay attention in classes, and come to think about it, I agree with him. You don't seem happy, 'Mione!"

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "Are you guys in this together or something?"

Ginny looked confused. "In what?"

"Every time I see you, one or all of you are asking what's wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me, won't you all just leave me alone!" she shouted, earning a very stern looking from Madam Pince, even though the library was almost empty. Hermione grabbed her bag and book from the table and stood up, but immediately lent against the table. Ginny looked at her face and saw that she'd gone white as a sheet.

"'Mione, what's wrong?" Ginny asked, rising from her seat.

"I'm...not feeling very well, I think I might faint," Hermione whispered, the words barely audible.

Ginny put an arm around her waist. "Madam Pince," she said, turning to the librarian. "Could you please fetch Madam Pomfrey for me? I think Hermione's ill."

The librarian hurried over to them from her desk, and reached them just as Hermione passed out.

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**Author's notes:** Ok, so cliffhangers aren't really my thing, but I tried it once again lol

REVIEW!


	3. and back into reality

**Author's notes:** Well, here I am again, and it didn't take as long as I thought it would. I know this chapter's rather short, and probably not very interesting to some of you, but it's the way the story goes. The next chapter will take a little longer, since I'm going away on Wednesday, and I won't have time to finish it before that. But check in on Thuseday next week, and it should be up. And it should make you all happy to know that I've written the end, which usually makes me write the rest a little faster lol

**666Morgan La Fey777:** Well, I couldn't really tell you if you're right, that would spoil the story, don't you think? But you should find out in this chapter. And thanks so much for still liking the story. I can't promise that it'll always be great, but I'm planning on keeping it rather short, not too many chapters, so it should stay sharp the whole way lol Thanks for the review!

**EquestrianBabe: **I try really hard to avoid those clichés, but the problem is that most of the things that are good are cliché. So it's hard. But I try, and I think that I can allow myself to put in one or two clichés every now and then, don't you think? ;-) But thanks for pointing it out, and thanks for the review!

**SugarQuill Cutie:**That was a fun review, I loved it :-D It was interesting what you said about Harry/Ron/Ginny ignoring Hermione, I haven't really thought about it, but you're right, they usually do in these kind of fics. Or maybe not ignore, but they aren't mentioned that very much. But they will be in this fic, almost more than Draco. If that's not saying too much...? Anyways, thanks for the funny review!

**Giggilymesh06: **Don't you want her to be pregnant? ;-) I can't say if you'll be a murderer by the end of this chapter, that would spoil it, so just read on lol Thanks for the review!

**edyta: **Wow! That was such a great review, thanks so much for all the compliments. I love writing, so it's nice to know that someone actually thinks I'm good at it lol And it's nice to know that you like the story. Thanks so much!

**PHATTiExx: **I can promise you, I will continue, and finish, this story. I always do, I think it's very irritating when people don't. And now that I've written the end, I'm even more eager to finish this, because I love the ending, if I may say so myself lol Thanks for the review.

**defyingXXXgravity - **DealNonDraco**- mysteriouscharm - **S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.f.e **- Serlene - **angel-1844** - AlexaPatronus6 **

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Part II **

_Hermione was pacing the floor of the Head's common room, anger boiling inside her. _Where's Draco? _she asked herself. _He should be back by now. _At the same moment, the portrait guarding the entrance opened and Draco walked in, looking, as always, as if he didn't have a care in the world. Hermione stopped walking and just looked at him, waiting for him to notice her._

"_Hello lovely," he said with a smile and walked over to her. "Missed me today?" He tried to put his arms around her and kiss her, but Hermione put up a hand and took a step backwards. He raised his eyesbrows, and then he saw the anger burning in her eyes. "Okay, what did I do this time?"_

_Hermione closed her eyes and counted slowly to ten. _What did I do this time? _What a typical thing for him to say. As if he wanted to play the victim. And saying it with irony, as if she found faults in everything he did._

_She opened her eyes. "What do you think?"_

_He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, to me it seems like everything I do is wrong."_

_Hermione took a deep breathe, trying to stay calm. "No, Draco, not everything. But flirting with other girls is deffinetely wrong."_

_He sat down in one of the couches and put his feet on the table, smiling that smile that either made her furious or weak to the knees (unfortunatley, it had the same effect on every single girl in the school), and right now, Hermione was the former._

"_Well, you can't blame me for wanting to have a little fun without you, sweetie. I know you feel the same way."_

"_Feel the same way about what?" Hermione fought hard to keep from shouting. "I don't feel like shagging every male inhabitant in here. I don't feel like flirting with the younger boys to make them do me favours-"_

_Draco put up his hands in front of him. "Slow down, Hermione, you know I'm just teasing you-"_

"_It's not funny, Draco!" Hermione yelled. She knew he mainly did it out of fun, because he thought it was amusing to see her mad, but she couldn't shake off the suspision that he also did it because he didn't think she was enough, that he needed more than she could give him. _"_I don't think it's fun to sit and watch while you entertain every girl that comes your way just to make me mad."_

_Draco's smile grew even wider. "To me it sounds like you're jealous, precious."_

_Hermione almost screamed at that. Mainly because he called her one of those awful nicknames he knew she hated, but also because he was right._

"_Don't call me that! And I am not jealous, you're not worth that much." She swallowed. "You can't be jealous when you don't care about someone."_

_Draco's eyes narrowed and he rose from the couch, towering above her, almost a head taller than she was. "So you don't care about me, do you? That's very different from what I thought." His voice was cooler than the lake in January._

_Hermione didn't say anything, she just stared into his eyes, those beautiful silver-grey eyes that could make her feel warm inside. But right now, they were grey as steel, grey from anger, and Hermione found that despite that, she couldn't look away. _

_But after a moment, she couldn't bare to just look at him without saying anything. "What does it matter to you what I think? If you cared at all about me, you wouldn't flirt with other girls." She couldn't keep a little hint of bitterness from resounding in her voice. But it didn't have any visible effect on Draco. _

_His eyes narrowed even more. "Well then, if we don't care about each other, then there's no point in staying together. And I guess you won't object too much if I break up with you then."_

_For a moment, Hermione felt hurt, but then she put up a stern face. "You took the words right out of my mouth, sweetie. I only wish I could move out of here so I wouldn't have to live under the same roof as you!" She turned her back to him and began climbing the stairs to the bedrooms._

"_You won't have to move!" she heared Draco shout from downstairs. "Believe me, I will stay far away from you. Mudblood!"_

_Hermione stopped dead at the last word. He hadn't called her that for a very long time. For a moment she felt like crying, but then she rushed over to the banister._

"_The end of the world wouldn't be far enough, bloody Death Eater!" she screamed, and then she ran back to her door, entered her room and slammed the door behind her.

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_

_No, I don't want to wake up,_ Hermione thought, keeping her eyes tightly shut, trying to make the dream return.

"...wake up soon, but she has to stay here tonight."

"But can you tell me what's wrong with her?"

That voice. It was Ginny's. She was standing in another room, talkingto the school nurse, Madam Pomfrey. Hermione quickly opened her eyes and looked around. She was in the hospital wing. _But what am I doing here? I don't remember._Hermone thought hard for a moment, and then her mind cleared and the memory returned. She'd been arguing with Ginny in the library, and when she'd risen from her seat, she'd become dizzy and everything had gone black. _I fainted_, Hermione established. _Yet another sign trying to turn my life upside down._ She looked around, found her bag on the bedside table, grabbed it and ran out of the hospital wing.

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An hour later, Hermione was sitting on her bed, trying to make reality go away. She stared at thepiece of paperin her hand. Two weeks late. How come she hadn't noticed that before? But she had. She'd just chosen not to think about it. And for good reasons. But now she'd have to pay the price. 

_There's still the possibility that I'm wrong though,_ she tried to tell herself, hoping as never before that she was. But she couldn't ignore all the facts that were gathering in front of her. She didn't know much about these kind of things, but she knew enough to know that she had to go and talk to Madam Pomfrey, whether she liked it or not.

Hermionefell back against the pillows. _The sooner I go there the better,_ she thought. _But what if I'm right? Will I be able to handle it? _Well, there was only one way to find out, and the sooner the better. But not yet. For just a few more moments, Hermione wanted to be a careless teenager. _That's easy with my life,_ she thought sarcastically and turned to lay on her side. She thought about the dream she'd had when she was unconscious. It wasn't really a dream, it was a memory, it had really happened. She and Draco had had one of their not so unusual quarrels. They hardly every agreed on anything, and if they weren't making love, they were standing on opposite sides of a room, screaming at each other.And it wasn't a very unusual thing that one of them broke up either, but Hermione had doubted every time that they'd ever get back together. But they always had, when one or both of them had become too lonely. She'd thought that they belonged together, no, she'd known it, and she still believed in it, but she also knew that it was impossible.

She slowly sat up on the bed and dried the tears she hadn't noticed were falling. She'd thought that breaking up would solve all her problems, but no. She just might be in the middle of the worst problem she'd ever face.

She rose from the bed. Whether she was right or wrong, nothing could be worse than uncertainty. It was in the middle of the night, but she had a feeling that the nurse would excuse the late visit.

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An hour later, she sat on one of the beds in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey was in her office, checking the tests she'd done on Hermione. When Hermione had told her why she was there, the nurse hadn't looked surprised, as Hermione had thought she would, but instead she'd said, "That's what I thought too," and asked Hermione to sit down on one of the beds. She'd then run the tests, which had taken a surprisingly long time, and went into her office to check them. 

_Why is she taking so long? _Hermione wondered. _Whether I am or not, I want to know._

She looked at her watch but didn't register the time. She looked around the room but didn't see it. She tried to hum a little, but it sounded false even to her own ears, so she fell silent again.

After what seemed like an eternity, the nurse came out, wearing a both stern and sympathetic look. Hermione tried to speak, but nothing came out, so she swallowed and tried again.

"What was the result?" The nurse didn't say anything, just shook her head, and Hermione knew right then. "So I really am pregnant then?"

Madam Pomfrey nodded, very heavily, Hermione thought, and said, "Yes, Miss Granger, you are."

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**Author's notes:** Yes, I know, not very original really, and some of you had already guessed what would happen. But now you know for sure, hope you don't mind. And you all know the ruels: 

REVIEW!


	4. Whose fault?

**Author's notes:** Ok, so over here it's Wednesday, and I promised you this chapter yesterday, but I haven't had time. But here it is, and I most say that I'm quite proud of it, it's one of the better, except for the ending, which I love. No, no more about that, on to the thank you:s:

**SugarQill Cutie:**Yes, that conversation between Hermione and Draco was a flashback, a memory Hermione dreamt when she was unconscious. I added it to show what their relathionship was like, that they fighted a lot over nothing at all. Once again, thank for another funny review, I love them lol

**Weaselbee: **The goal is to write as few clichés as possible, but it's not easy, so I apologize in advance for future misshaps lol But I think I can allow myself to be little cliché sometimes. Thanks for the review.

**Auddie: **Cliffhanger? Did I write a cliffhanger? I wasn't even aware of that, that's nice. And I thought I couldn't do them lol Anyway, here's the answer. Part of it anyway. Thanks for the review.

**Anna-Belle Malfoyx3: **Was that mean? You mean making her pregnant? Well, that's what the whole story is about, so sorry lol And please don't hex me, or you won't get your story. I promise, I won't let you down. Thanks for the review!

**The.Purple.One: **Nice name...yes, this fic's very much active, it just takes me a while to update sometimes. I'm not one to abandon my fics, so you will get an ending, I promise. Thanks for the review!

**PHATTiExx - **lovenotknown - **sw33t intoxication - **666Morgan La Fey777 - **DealNonDraco - **angel-1844 - **Candy04 - **Miranda - **mchs-angel08 - **S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.f.e - **GazziGal**

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**Part III**

When Hermione left the hospital wing, she went straight to the Owlery and sent an owl to Harry and Ron telling them she was sick, and then she went back to her bed and didn't move from underneath the covers untill the next evening. She spent the whole night, and the major part of the following day too, thinking. And one thought insisted on creeping into her mind all the time. _How could I be as stupid as to let this happen?_

Hermione only left her bed to go to the bathroom, but she didn't eat anything, and she didn't do anything but think. She turned the problem, looked at it from every possible angle, even considered the idea that both she and Madam Pomfrey and the tests were wrong, but she only came to one conclusion. She was pregnant. She was carrying Draco Malfoy's child. The thought almost made her laugh. When the news got out, it would raise more than one pair of eyebrows. Pureblood Draco Malfoy and muggleborn Hermione Granger had been sleeping together. And not just that. They'd alowed it give results.

_Could my life get any worse? _Hermione thought. _Now I can't keep lying anymore. To anyone. I'll have to tell Harry, Ron and Ginny that I'm pregnant. And I'll have to tell Draco too. _Hermione swallowed hard, feeling as if she had a snake in her stomach that was trying to get out. How would Draco react when she told him. She had her ideas about that. They'd end up like they always did, shouting from opposite sides of a room, blaiming each other. _Merlin, _Hermione thought. _It's a pretty mess I've gotten myself into. And I can't just carry it all on my own. I have to tell Draco. Tonight._

At six she decided she should get out of bed, so she took a shower and put on a pair of jeans and a shirt. Since it was dinnertime, she thought she should probably go down to the Great Hall and get something toeat, but the mere thought of food made her insides turn, so instead she went down to the common room and sat down on the couch to wait for Draco to return. Five minutes later, the portrait opened and he emerged. He closed the portrait behind him, and when he turned around and saw Hermione, he stopped dead.

"Hey," Hermione said, sounding more confident than she felt.

"Hi," Draco answered, asuspicious note in his voice. And Hermione couldn't blame him. They hadn't talked since the night they broke up, and here she was, sitting waiting for him when he got back. It must look very suspicious.

"I'd like to talk to you, Draco," Hermione continued, still gazing into his eyes. Merlin, those eyes!

"Well, I don't really have time right now," he said and started walking again through the common room. "I have loads of homework to finish by tomorrow." He'd now reached the stairs and started climbing them, as if marking the end of the discussion.

Hermione took a deep breath. "Draco, I'm pregnant," she blurted out with closed eyes before she could stop herelf.

She heared hoim stop walking, and then turn around and come down the stairs again. She opened her eyes to see him sit down on the couch opposite from hers.

"Allright, you've got me listening," he said, with a hint of a smile in the corners of his lips. "What did you want to talk about?"

Hermione didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He thought she was joking, when it was actually the complete and honest truth.

She looked into his eyes and said it again, "No, really, I am pregnant."

Draco stared at her for a moment, a very intense glare that made Hermione think her fingernails very interesting.

"You're serious," she heared him say. Hermione just nodded without lifting her head.

"Oh, Merlin!" Hermione looked up and saw that Draco had put his head in his hands. She still didn't say anything, thinking that what he'd just said summed up her feeling too.

For a moment they were quiet, but then Draco broke the silence. "And you're positive it's mine?" he asked and lifted his head.

Hermione felt the familliar irritation that she always felt almost every time Draco said anything. "Are you suggesting that I have gone and slept with someone else?" she asked in a cold voice.

Draco shrugged his shoulders. "How would I know?"

"And you think I'd tell you that I'm pregnant in the case?" Hermione wasn't even trying to stay calm. "Do you really think I would be that mean, or stupid? Pathetic loser!" She rose from the couch and walked over to the stairs.

"Allright, fine." She heared Draco also rise, ans she stopped walking. "Let us say that it actually is mine. Then why telling me?"

Hermione couldn't believe her ears, and she turned around and looked at him. "Are you being thick on purpose, Draco? Because, as you said, it's yours. That means: your problem too."

"Actually it's not." He came over to the stairs and lent against the banister. "It's your problem. It's your fault from the beginning , and therefor, you will have to take care of the consequences."

This time, Hermione thought her ears would fall off. "My fault!" she cried out. "How can any of this be my fault? It's just as much your fault in that case. Do I have to remind you, Draco Malfoy, that you have to be two to make a child? And that means two to deal with the consequences." She'd never felt angier before in her life.

Draco slowly came up the stairs and stopped one step below her, which still made him two inches taller than her. His voice was pure ice when he said, "Then, do I have to remind you, Hermione Granger, that it's you who got pregnant? You knew there was a risk that you would, and you should have removed that risk from the beginning."

Hermione stared at him. She wanted to scream at him, to burst into tears, to throw herself into his arms, or down the stairs, but when she spoke, her voice was just as cold and calm as his had been, all though her eyes were burning with rage.

"You know what? Forget I ever said anything. As you said, it's my problem." And she turned around and walked up the stairs and into her room. She sat down on her bed with her head in her hands. _That went great_, she thought. _How could I ever have thought I was in love with that, that...bastard!_ But the anger was rapidly leaving her, making her feel helpless. What if all her friends would react like that? Saying that it was her own fault and leaving her to deal with it on her own. _I can deal with it on my own!_ Hermione thought angrily. And then she remembered what Madam Pomfrey had said, _"Come to me, dear, if you need to talk. I don't judge, remember that."_

_I don't need her, I can do this on my own,_ Hermione thought once again. But she wasn't angry anymore. That anger had left and made room for the hurt. The pain cause by the evil things Draco had said set in, and Hermione threw herself back on the bed and muffled her sobs with a pillow.

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**Author's notes: **(Won't write what I always write, won't, won't, wo-) 

REVIEW!


	5. End of avoiding

**Author's notes:** I'm really proud of myself for getting this up so fast, but the fact is that I'm trying to finish it before I leave for France on Wednesday. I'm going to be gone for a whole year, and I don't know if I'll have access to computers, so I thought I'd better finish this before I leave, so I won't have to put it on hold. I don't really know how much that's left, but I reckon it's about five, maybe six chapters.

Now, on to the thank you:s:

**SugarQuill Cutie:** Yepp, I got the mail, and I want you back now, 'cause I need help! I'm running out of time here! Anyways, thanks so much for the review (in love with the fic, can I get a better compliment?).

**Colleen: **I'd like to think that this fic's something special, but I don't have any illusions. I've actually read one that's made har pregnant, but I didn't really like that one, and I promise, this is all my own ideas. Thanks so much for the review!

**bookxluver:** Yes, I know, sorry about that whole bastard-thing, but it was required. I hope it will all be axplained in due time, but right now, he has be a bastard. Thanks for the review!

**you muggle:**Well, I can't really answer that question, because that would give away the story, don't you think? Hope you don't mind :-D Thanks of the review, I really appreciate it!

**mysteriousharm:** See the previous thank you. No, seriously, I can't tell you, because whether she'll keep it or not is part of the story, and, I hope, part of why you're reading, because you want to know. So you'll just have to wait and see (I love it when I'm evil :-) Thanks for the review!

**angel-1844: **Totally in character both of them? Thank you so much for saying that, that's, I think, the best compliment I've ever got! It is my goal to sort of keep them in character, but I tend to slip, mainly because they've fallen in love, and that's way out of character for both of them, but when someone says that they're in character it...it just warms my heart "tear" Thank you!

**666Morgan La Fey777:** Nope, as you said, can't tell you what kind of ending it will be, because if I say happy, that means they'll stay together, and if I say angsty, that means they won't, so...OK, it doesn't necessarily have to mean that, but still can't tell you. I don't want to tell you either, I want to keep my readers lol Thanks for the review!

**Broken Monroe: **I totally agree with you, they make damn good stories, that's why I'm writing one lol Thanks for the review!

**mish-serenity: **Starting to like this story? I'm thinking about whether I should be offended or not...nay, it's too early in the morning for that. I'll just erase to first two words and stick to "like the story". Thanks for the review!

**S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.f.e **- Kate - **Outsider16** - mchs-angel08 - **CanadianWerewolfe **- Captain-Ammie - **for sure **- kasey - **bbysail28 **- wicca-girl14 - **thewomanofthehour**

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Part IV **

Hermione had no idea how she got through the following day. What had before been absentmindedness was now pure unintress. Through ever singel class she sat with her head on her arms on the bench, not listening to anything anoyone said, which made her wonder why she'd gotten out of bed at all.

She avoided Harry and Ron, even though she knew they were trying to talk to her, and every body else too. She came to the classes just before they were going to start and sat down in the back of the classroom, and disappeared fast as lightening when they ended. During the breakes she sat in the darkest corner of the library, staring out the window. She even skipped lunch, which wasn't really a sacrifice, she thought, since she wasn't hungry. Instead she wondered the corridors, avoiding crowds, refusing to even let her thoughts near the subject of her life.

She was left alone for the whole day, untill that evening, when she was walking around in the east part of the castle, trying to decide whether her need for sleep was greater than her desire to avoid Draco. Suddenly someone seized her shoulders from behind and spun her around, and Hermione was staring into Harry's green eyes.

"Oh, Harry, you, you scared me." Hermione's voice was hoarse from 24 hours of silence.

"Sorry, didn't mean to," Harry said, but he didn't sound the least bit sorry. "What are you doing, 'Mione?"

"Oh, you know, just walking to clear my head." She shrugged her shoulders.

"No." Harry shook his head. "I mean, why are you avoiding us?"

Hermione blushed and lowered her gaze to her shoes. "I'm not exactly avoiding you," she mumbled.

"Yes, you are!" Harry gripped her shoulders and Hermione looked at him. "'Mione, we're your friends, you have to tell us what's wrong!"

"Nothing's wrong, Harry. Really, I'm fine." Hermione tried every feeble excuse she could come up with, but Harry wasn't convinced. He grabbed her hand and began pulling her down the corridor. "Harry, wait, where are we going?"

"To the Gryffindor common room," he answered grimly. "And I won't let you out of there untill you have told me what's wrong."

Hermione was too tired to struggle, or to even protest. She let him drag her through the castle and into the common room, and to place her in a chair. But when he, Ron and Ginny sat down around her, her strength returned.

"Do you know that I could accuse you of kidnapping?" she said with a voice that wasn't quite as firm as she'd wished.

Both Ginny and Ron smiled, but Harry just glared at her. "You weren't very resistent, Hermione. But if you want to tell everybody that your best friends kidnapped you, fine. But wouldn't that prove that I'm right, that you really are avoiding us?"

Hermione opened her mouth to argue, but she didn't have anything to say. Harry was right. She closed her mouth again and lent back in the chair.

"Fine," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "But I still claim there's nothing wrong with me."

Ginny looked sceptically at her, and Harry just shook his head.

"Well, we think so," Ron said. "We think something really bad has happened." He gave her a concerned look. "Has Malfoy done anything to you?"

Hermione laughed bitterly. "I suppose you could say that, but I wouldn't call it bad. It's just the aftermath I don't like." She'd thrown all caution out the window. She didn't want to pretend anymore, and she didn't care what they'd say.

The boys were wearing identical puzzled looks, but Ginny had slammed her hand over her mouth and was staring wide-eyed at Hermione.

"Oh, Hermione, no!" she said in a muffled whisper.

Hermione nodded, and Ginny flew up from her chair and threw her arms around Hermione's neck.

Both Harry and Ron stared at them.

"Can anyone explain to us what this is all about?" Ron asked in a loud voice, pointing from himself to Harry.

"I'm pregnant," Hermione said. Nothing more, nothing less, just the truth.

Harry just stared at her without speaking, and Hermione thought his silence was worse than anything. Ron, on the other hand, fell forward and hit his head against the table.

"No way!" she heared him say, and it was hardly more than a hoarse whisper. He lifted his head from the table. "And with Malfoy?"

Hermione nodded heavily. She didn't know what she'd expected, but this was worse.

Ron was about to throw his head back on the table, but Hermione quickly put her hand in between, and Ron's forehead almost broke her knuckles. She lent back in the chair, massaging the back of her hand, waiting for one of her friends to say something.

"Did he rape you?" Harry spoke for the first time since she'd dropped the bomb.

Hermione shook her head. "No, he didn't. We..." She took a deep breath, about to drop the second bomb. "We've sort of been seeing each other for the past...months."

Ron lifted his head from the table once more, and both he and Harry stared at her in disbelief. Hermions turned, with a helpless gesture, to Ginny, who, to Hermione's surprise, didn't look at all thrown back. Hermione raised her eyebrows in a questioning gesture, and Ginny shrugged her shoulders.

"I knew." Hermione's eyes widened, and so did the boys'. "Well, allright, I had my suspicions," Ginny continued. "I saw you two snogging beneath the Astronomy Tower once, but I thought that if you were going out you'd want to keep it a secret, or tell us yourself."

Hermione smiled, very relieved that at least one of her friends trusted her to make her own decisions, and she gave Ginny a hug.

"So, pregnant?" Ginny said when they'd let go off each other. "Have you told him?" Hermione nodded. "Well, what did he say?"

The memory brought tears to Hermione's eyes, but she firmly swallowed back the lump in her throat.

"He...basically told me to...sod off," she said in what she hoped was a carefree voice, but she didn't dare look at the people around the table.

"He was probably just shocked," Ron said in a gentle voice. Hermione looked up and stared at him in disbelief. Ron gave her a weak smile and she shook her head.

"No, I don't think so," she said. "This wasn't exaktly the first time we've had a row, and we have after all broken up."

She knew the others were staring at her, but she found it much easier to tell her tale without looking at them.

"You see, me and Draco don't agree. On anything. We always fight, whenever we're in the same room." She smiled thinly. "Well, for obvious resons, almost whenever. And on top of that," she continued, "I found it very hard to keep lying to you guys, so I...broke up with him." The memory made Hermione shiver from both delight and sadness.

"How did he take it?" Ginny asked when Hermione had been quiet for some time.

"Quite well," Hermione said, forcing herself back to reality, for she had been lost in dreams, both real and fictive, about Draco. "We actually haven't talked since then. Untill last night, when I told him about...well, you know."

Hermione felt that she was losing grip of reality once more. She wanted to close her eyes and sleep for a hundred years, just like Sleeping Beauty. _Light was never as gentle as darkness, nor as forgiving._ The one who said that was right.

"Do you love him, Hermione?" Harry's gentle voice pulled her back to the harsh reality with, what she thought, a loud thump.

Hermione thought about his question for a moment before she answered.

"Yes, I do," she said, and as soon as the words were out, she knew they were true. A soft smile spread across her lips, but then she remembered all the evil things he'd said last night, and the smile disappeared. He didn't love her, she couldn't tell herself that he did, how much she might ever try.

She felt she owed her friends, at least Harry and Ron, an explanation to her previous statement, so she forced herself to talk to them, to tell them.

"Yes, me and Draco fought. A lot. About everything and nothing. We called each other terrible things, and occasionally we'd break up. When we were bad, we were terrbile." She smiled once again, remembering all the nights she'd spent in his arms. "But when we were good, we were great, the best. He made me feel safe, beautiful...and loved. Yes, I'm alomst sure that once he did love me, for a little while."

Hermione's mind wasn't really in the game. Her heart seemed to form words her mouth spoke before her brain had corrected them. She flushed, realizing what she'd just said.

Ginny patted her arm comfortingly. "I wonder what went wrong."

Hermione threw her arms out in a helpless gesture, alomst knocking both Harry and Ginny off their chairs.

"Everything!" she answered in a loud voice. Luckily for her, the common room was empty except for them, everybody else had gone to bed. "I just have to realize," she continued in a lower voice, "That me and Draco weren't-"

She was interrupted by a loud banging. It sounded as if someone was knocking very hard on the portrait of the Fat Lady.

Hermione looked confused at the others, then rose from her chair and walked over to the portrait.

"Hermione, wait, you don't know who's out there!" Ginny protested, but Hermione had already pushed open the portrait.

Someone was standing, no, leaning against the wall outside, someone who looked very familliar, even in the darkness.

"Draco?"

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**Author's notes:** Well, I suppose you won't have to wait very long for the next chapter, because five chapters in five days...well, you do the maths. But don't let that stop you from leaving me a

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	6. Love and hurt

**Author's notes: **Ok, here I am again. It's looking pretty good with those one chapter per day, don't you think? Warnings on this one for violence, but I won't say who's involved, you'll know in about ten minutes anyway, and I'll be hiding from you by then lol

No individual thank you:s this time, but this chapter is dedicated to my lovely BETA **SugarQuill Cutie**, don't know what I would do without you, and to **hilary**, who was number 100 to review.

Thank you!

**S.z.ou.c.er.4.li.f.e - **666Morgan La Fey777 - **professionaldooropener - **myseriouscharm - **Ln** - survivalmisson -**Nirvana-girl22 -**angel-1844 - **Captain-Ammie - **seghen - **LittleMermaid325 - **SlightlyPyschoPrincess - **cheeze** - SpikesDreamer - **rons-discret-lover69 - **Flor De La Cereza - **nosie** - Weaselbee -**fan** - queeneyZ - **crazyhyper** - RavensWritingProphecies - **takenbydrama - **i-LuV-cHaRmEd18 - **LIVE ON MUSIC -**wyndnfyr

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_**Previously:** "Hermione, wait, you don't know who's out there!" Ginny protested, but Hermione had already pushed open the portrait._

_Someone was standing, no, leaning against the wall outside, someone who looked very familliar, even in the darkness._

"_Draco?"

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_

**Part V**

Draco was leaning against the wall outside the portrait, and he was staring at Hermione with a wild look in his eyes. He looked terrible. His hair was a mess, it looked as if he'd just thrown the clothes onto his body, or as if he'd slept in them, and when Hermione looked closely, she saw that he carried an half empty bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky in his hand.

"Draco, are you allright?" _How many of those had he drunk?_

He took a swig from the bottle and stumbled towards her.

"'Mione, I'm so sorry for last night, I didn't mean what I said, I love you, we could make it work, just come back to me!" He tried to kiss her, but when Hermione felt the strong smell of alcohol, she backed away.

"You're drunk, Draco, you don't know what you're saying."

Draco violently shook his head and took another swig.

"I might be drunk, but I definitely know what I'm saying. I love you, 'Mione, can you ever forgive me?" He tried to drink once again, but Hermione grabbed his arm and lowered it, at the same time pulling the bottle from his grasp.

"You've had enough," she said and made the bottle disappear with a flick of her wand.

Draco stared at her, first in disbelief, but thenhis eyes narrowed, andHermione knew this was the calm before the storm, she'd seen it many times before.

"Give me back the bottle, Hermione," he said in a voice that was very low, but still threatening.

Hermione shook her head. "No, you've had more than enough. Go back to bed, Draco, this it too late for you." She turned around to walk back in, but was instead pushed up against the wall.

"Don't turn your back on me, Mudblood!" Draco whispered, his face less than an inch from hers. Hermione turned away, the smell of alcohol was too much to take, but Draco grabbed her chin and turned her back to face him. "I said, don't turn away from me. When I talk, you listen." He moved his hand to her throat, and for a moment, Hermione feared he was going to kill her.

"Draco, you're hurting me," she moaned.

For a second, Draco's face was lit by an evil grin, and he squeezed a little harder around her throat, but then, suddenly he let go and backed away from her. Hermione remained were she was, waiting for him to jump at her again, but instead she saw, to her own astonishment, a tear fall down his cheek, soon followed by others. Draco slid down the wall and landed in a heap on the floor, where he hid his face against his knees.

Hermione was at a loss for what to do. For a long moment she just stared at him, but then she sat down next to him on the floor and put her arms around him. Draco lent againts her shoulder, the sobs shaking his whole body.

"Sch, sch, it's allright," Hermione whispered, stroking his hair.

"No, it's not allright!" Draco pulled away from her, still hiding his face. "Every time I'm near you, I hurt you. I'm turning into my father," he said bitterly.

Hermione didn't know what to do. She wanted to comfort him, but he didn't seem to want her to, and still he looked so lonely. After a moment, Hermione reached out a hand, hesitated, and then touched his shoulder. Draco pulled back again, but Hermione grabbed his shoulder, and suddenly he'd thrown himself around her neck and was hiding his face and sobbing against her neck. Hermione felt tears fall down her own cheeks, for reasons she didn't know.

_What a picture we must make,_ she thought. _Two teenagers curled up on the floor, crying in each other's arm._ She entangled her fingers in Draco's hair, whispering calming words in his ear. _He's drunk,_ she reminded herself. _He won't remember this in the morning._

After a while, Draco finally seemed to calm down, and Hermione eased her grip around him and stood up. She brushed away the tears from her cheeks, corrected her clothes and went back into the common room. Harry, Ron and Ginny were still sitting at the table, but they didn't seem to have heared what had gone on outside. Ron and Ginny were having a heated discussion, but they silenced and looked up when Hermione cleared her throat.

"Was that Draco out there?" Ginny asked.

Hermione nodded. "Very drunk, so I need to get him back to the Head's." She picked up her bag from the floor and threw it over her shoulder. "Do you mind if we call it a night?"

Ginny shook her head, and Ron and Harry looked at each other. Then they suddenly both rose and walked out through the still open portrait hole. Hermione and Ginny looked confused at each other, and then they followed the two boys. They emerged just in time to see Harry and Ron pick a nearly unconscious Draco off the floor.

"We'll carry him back, 'Mione," Harry said in a voice that did not tolerate arguing, so Hermione just shrugged her shoulders, gave Ginny a quick hug and led the way back to the Head's dormitory.

Harry and Ron dumped Draco on one of the couches, and Ron headed for the exit, but Harry remained where he was.

"You wait outside, Ron, I'll be right out," he said and turned to Hermione. He waited untill they'd heared the portrait close, and then he asked her, "Does he always treat you like this?"

Hermione began shaking her head, but then she realized what he'd said. "You heared that?" she asked, looking at her shoes.

Harry nodded grimly. "If he ever does it again, I'm going to kill him, 'Mione, I promise."

Hermione smiled and gave him a hug. "I don't think he will, Harry, but thanks."

But Harry didn't let go off her. "Will you be allright tonight?"

Hermione nodded. "Yes, Harry I'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow, allright?"

Harry seemed to want to say something more, but instead he just nodded and left the dormitory.

Hermione dropped her bag on the floor and sat down next to Draco, gently but firmly shaking his shoulder. He stirred but did not wake up. Hermione sighed and did it again, a little less gently this time. Draco slowly opened his eyes, and after having stared at her for a moment without recognizing her, he mumbled, "Hermione."

She nodded and stroke his cheek. He grabbed her hand and kissed the palm, suddenly wide awake.

"I love you, Hermione, and I'm so sorry. For everything," he whispered.

Hermione's common sence asked how he could love her and still hurt her, like he'd done tonight, be she didn't say anything, just smiled at him and gently pulled her hand free.

"Sleep," she said, and began to rise.

Draco violently shook his head and tried to grab her hand again. "Stay."

Hermione sighed, but at the same time she smiled and sat down on the floor with her back to the couch he was lying on.

"Allright, I'll sit here untill you fall asleep," she said and took his hand. "Now sleep!"

That seemed to calm him down, and a moment later, Hermione could hear that he was sleeping again. She gently pulled her hand free again and rose. Draco was smiling slightly in his sleep, and Hermione bent down and kissed him. _How can you love someone and still hurt each other so much? _she wondered as she walked up to her room. On the landing she stopped and looked down over the banister at Draco. _He's going to have such a hangover tomorrow,_ she thought and went into her room.

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**Author's notes:** We'll see if there's a chapter tomorrow, if I have time, I'll post one. But if not, you'll get two on Monday, allright? Meanwhile, leave me a review, and **SugarQuill**, mail me!

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	7. Back to normal?

**Author's notes: **Allright, so no chapter yesterday, so sorry, but if my helpful BETA answers my mail today, you'll get one tonight too. My tonight, that is (evil grin) So this is, to my great shame, a rather boring chapter, not much happening, but it need to be posted, sorry about it. There's a lot happening in the next chapter though, I promise!

**takenbydrama: **Exactly what have I done again? (Fishing for compliments, help me out here! ;-) Thanks for the review!

**Cenagirl: **Am I getting to the good parts now? And this is almost the end. What a terrible author I must be ;-) Thanks for the review!

**angel-1844: **I'm not really sure what Harry's feelings are towards Hermione, but for the moment, let's just stick to overprotective older brother, or something like that lol Thanks for reviewing!

**Flor De La Cereza: **Just wait untill you try posting one chapter a day yourself, it's not all the fun it's cracked up to be. I swear, this story keeps me awake at night. But I shall finish it, like the brave little authore I am lol Thanks!

**wyndnfyr: **Well, you know, Draco doesn't fear his father at all, because he's dead. Hermione killed him in the war the previous spring. I wrote that in the first chapter, just one line, so it doesn't at all surprise me that you don't remember it, just thought you wanted to know lol Thanks for the review!

**wiccan-witch88: **No, I promise, I won't have him turn out like his dad, that would be too sad. Thanks for reviewing!

**cat-alike69: **Yes, Harry has some sort of feelings for Hermione, but I don't know what kind, and therefor, neither does he. But I think it's something like overprotective older brother.

**rockinchic2104: **Ginny and Ron didn't hear her, because first, both Hermione and Draco where whispering, not shouting, and second, Ginny and Ron were talking very lodly to each other. Harry only heared because he listened. Thanks for review, questioning is always good, both for me and you lol

**SugarQuill Cutie: **I feel obligated to thank you, since you're my BETA. But please answer the mail, please, please, please (stands on knees begging) Thanks for all the help, and the review!

**Rubber-duckiesofdoom: **First I just have to say that I love your name, wish I had something witty like that. And second, any spellingmistakes in this story I blame on my English, and beg for you to forgive me, since it isn't my mother tongue. But thanks for pointing out the errors, even though I won't correct them any time soon ;-) Thanks for the review too!

**defyingXXXgravity **- mchs-angel08 - **mysteriouscharm **- sw33t intoxication - **lindybopper4 **- Lina Natsuki - **Morgan** - LittleMermaid325 - **DarkPrincess77 **- SLightlyPsychoPrincess - **animegirl9001 **- Broken Monroe - **Captain-Ammie **- 666Morgan La Fey777 - **MissKaitou**

Enjoy!

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**Part VI**

When Hermione came down to the common room the next morning, Draco was still sleeping. The old, bossy know-it-all Hermione would have roughly woken him up, saying that nothing was more important than school, but the new, after-Draco Hermione didn't have the heart to. Instead she put a water jug and a class on the table beside him, and a note telling him to stay in bed, and that she would take care of the teachers. Then she ran up to his room to check which classes he was to have that day, and hurried off to the Great Hall to get some breakfast, on the way giving Draco a quick peck on the cheek.

Ginny was sitting at the Gryffindor table, putting butter on a toast, when Hermione bounced down on the chair next to her.

"Morning," Ginny said, pouring coffee in Hermione's cup. "How's Draco?"

Hermione sipped her coffee, scanning the table for Harry and Ron. "Hung over, I guess," she said to Ginny without looking at her. "Where're the boys?"

"Ron said something about homework, and I haven't seen Harry today," Ginny answered, loading Hermione's plate with food. "But what do you mean 'I guess'?"

Hermione started, she hadn't really listened to Ginny. It took her a moment to remember what they'd been talking about. Draco.

"He was sleeping when I left," she said, putting the cup back on the table, and was faced with a mountain of food. "Where did all this come from?"

"I know you haven't been eating anything for weeks, so you better start now," Ginny answered, ignoring Hermione's question. "It's not just you now, you know." She took Hermione's hand and forced her to hold the fork. "Eat!"

Hermione laughed but obeyed. Ginny was right, it wasn't just she now. But even if everything tasted wonderfully, after half an hour, Hermione gave up. She'd managed half of the food Ginny had laid up for her, and now she was full to the brim.

"Ginny, it's really nice of you to take care of me, but I can't squeeze in another thing, and I don't have time either." Ginny gave her a disapproving look as Hermione grabbed her bag and rose. "I'll see you at lunch, allright?"

"Yes, and you better be here!" Ginny shouted after her as Hermione left the Hall.

She managed to talk to all Draco's teachers before her first class, and sprinted in just as the bell rang. Professor McGonagall was already standing at the front of the room, giving Hermione a disapproving look, and Hermione smiled apologetically and went and sat down in the back of the room. She picked up her books and her quill and prepared to be active for an hour.

"Since Miss Granger has been so gracious as to join us," McGonagall said coldly, "We can start today's lesson by opening our books at page 49. Mr Finnigan, will you please read the firstten lines aloud?"

Hermione really tried to listen to what the Professor said, but she soon found that her thoughts insisted on drifting off in other directions. She thought about Draco, and wondered how he was doing. Did he remember anything from last night? Hermione hoped not. Her own memories from the event were a bit blurry, but she was convinced that it was the alcohol that had made him push her against the wall. They'd had rows much worse than this in the past, and he'd never once even threatened to hurt her. But even so, Hermione wondered why she wasn't feeling more...afraid. Draco had clearly not known what he was doing, and in that state, he could have killed her. It had happened once, it could happen again, and Hermione knew that. She should be planning to leave him, all her common sense told her that, or at least she should fear comming back to the dormitory that evening. But all she could feel was...confused. And numb. As if so much had happened these last few days that her body and mind could take no more.

As a feeble try to justify herself to herself, Hermione tried to come up with a reason to why she was staying. Because she'd read about girls who were abused by their boyfriends, and she'd always thought that she would leave at the first hit if that ever happened to her. But now she wasn't. She was staying. Because, as she'd told Harry, Ron and Ginny last night, she loved Draco. And she was carrying his child. That was a powerful reason, and Hermione knew that.

Suddenly she realized that the class had ended and that her classmates were leaving the room. She hurried to put down her books to make it look like she'd paid attention the whole time.

"Miss Granger, would you come over here, please?" Professor McGonagall's voice broke the silence of the, to Hermione's surprise, empty room. She forcefully zipped her bag close and went up to the teacher's desk.

"Yes, professor?"

McGonagall looked at Hermione over the edge of her spectacles.

"Is there something wrong, Miss Granger?" Hermione opened her mouth to answer, but the professor continued, "Because I've noticed for some time now that you've been rather...absent. And your work have not at all lived up to the usual standard." She showed at some parchements on her desk that bore Hermione's handwriting and clearly visible _P_:s at the tops. "And other teachers have told me the same about their subjects." Hermione was once again about to speak, but McGonagall shook her head. "And do not say that nothing's wrong, Miss Granger. The truth, please."

Hermione thought for just a moment before she answered.

"I've had some...personal problems, professor. But it's starting to ease up now. I can promise that my work will improve in the future." She smiled confidently.

But professor McGonagall wasn't fooled. She eyed Hermione over the edge of her spectacles for a long time, but to Hermione's relief, she just nodded.

"Very well, Miss Granger." She began piling up the papers on her desk. "You may go."

Hermione nodded, more to herself than to McGonagall, and left the room. When she turned a corner a moment later, she ran into Harry and Ron and gave un unvolontarily cry.

"Wow, 'Mione, it's just us," Ron said and raised his hands in a defending gesture. "What did McGonagall want?"

Hermione had closed her eyes and was trying to calm down. She hadn't at all expected to run into them, or anyone else for that matter, and she'd had something of a shock.

"I- she." She took a deep breath, opened her eyes and looked at the boys. "She wondered why I haven't paid attention in classes lately, so I told her I've had some personal problems."

Ron nodded thoughtfully. "That was a good answer. I think I saw Pansy Parkinson sneeking around outside the room, she might have heared what you said. Wouldn't have been good if you said the truth." He smiled cheepishly.

Hermione laughed. "No, it wouldn't." And she realized that this was the second time in one day she'd laughed. _I think it might be weeks since I even smiled,_ she thought, and did just that.

She looked at Harry, who hadn't said anything, not even 'hi', and put a hand on his shoulder.

"What's the matter, Harry? You look like you've sold a hippogriff and lost the money."

Harry actually smiled and shook his head. "No, it's just...well...me and Ron...we have been talking...about...well...you know..." Hermione didn't know what to think. She'd never heared Harry stutter before.

"What Harry's trying to say so nicely here," Ron cut in, talking with a lot more ease than Harry, "is that we've been talking." He lowered his voice, "about you and Malfoy. And we've agreed that you're old enough to make your own decisions." Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Now, we may not like them," Ron continued, "or him, for that matter, but we trust you, 'Mione. Just promise that you'll come to us, if..well, you know." He eyed her up and down for a moment. "Have you talked to him?"

Hermione shook her head. "No, he was still sleeping when I left this morning, and I didn't want to wake him." She sighed. "I know I should talk to him, but I- I just don't see why. I know how he feel about...well, you know. He didn't say it right out, bur from his way of shouting at me, I know. And I don't want to hear him say it out loud." Hermione didn't want to admit it, but she was afraid. This was something she didn't know, a problem which answer she wouldn't be able to find in a book. And she was afraid to be left alone with the problem. She looked pleadingly at Ron. "You'll stand beside me, won't you?"

Ron hesitated for just a moment, and then he gave her a big hug. "We're behind you, whatever you do," he said.

Hermione smiled in relief and hugged both him and Harry. "You two are the best friends a girl could ever have, do you know that?" Ron smiled a little cheepishly again, but Hary was like a piece of wood, and Hermione gave him a quizical look. "I have to run now, Ancient Runes, but I'll see you two at lunch, allright?" She turned and hurried away down the corridor.

"Hermione!" she heared Harry call from behind her, and she stopped and turned around. "We still don't trust him!"

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**Author's notes: **So the next chapter will probably be up tonight, but I'm not quite sure. In the meantime: 

REVIEW!


	8. Draco & Hermione

**Author's notes: **So here it is, the last chapter, and tomorrow there will be an epilogue, I promise. I don't have time for individual thanks you:s this time, packing, you know, but tomorrow, I will. So hang on 'till then.

And thanks to my wonderful BETA **SugarQuill Cutie** for all the help with this troublesome chapter. You're the best.

Enjoy!

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**Part VII**

The rest of the day passed by faster than Hermione would have dared imagine. After her talk with McGonagall, she was determined to focus on work, and for the rest of the day, she wouldn't let herself think about Draco, or the baby. It went farily well, but when she focused so much in classes, she realized how much she'd missed out. _I will be up all night reading just to try and catch up,_ she thought as she walked back to he dormitory after dinner that evening. She told the portrait the password and went inside.

"Finally!" Draco was sitting on the same couch she'd left him on in the morning, covered in a blanket, looking even paler than usual. "I thought you'd never come back."

Hermione smiled and dropped her bag and her robe on the other couch. "How are you feeling?" she asked, at the same time sitting down and taking off her shoes and her socks.

"As I deserve, I suppose." Draco shrugged his shoulders. "Did you find all the teachers?" Hermione nodded, and he looked relieved. "Thanks so much, 'Mione!"

She smiled and laid down. "Don't mention it," she said to the table, since it was hiding Draco from view. "You'd have done the same for me."

"Are you sure about that?" Draco's voice was low, and Hermione sat up again, looking confused.

"What do you mean?"

For a moment he was quiet, but then he said, "Did I hurt you? You know, last night." He wasn't looking at her, and Hermione had a hard time hearing what he was saying.

For a moment she thougth about lying, but since it was he who'd done it, Hermione thought he should know. She reached up and bent down the collar of her blouse.

"Draco?" He looked up, and Hermione turned her head so he saw the tiny bruise on her neck from one of his fingers. The little colour that was left in his face disappeared before he hid his face in his hands.

Every single part of Hermione's body told her to walk over there and hold him, but she remained where she was, only bent the collar back up. After what seemed like an eternity, Draco finally spoke again, but still without looking at her.

"I don't know what to say, 'Mione. 'Sorry' won't be enough."

"No, it won't." Hermione thought herself that she might have sounded too harsh, and she said in a softer voice, "but on the other hand, you were drunk." Draco lifted his head, and he couldn't have loked more surprised if Hermione had told him she was Ron's twin sister. "I'm surprised you even remember it at all."

"But, Hermione." He gestured hopelessly with one hand. "I could have killed you!"

"I know that!" Hermione was very moved by his...caring. He'd never showed her this much affection before. At least not like this. "But I also know that you wouldn't really have done it. That's not who you are, Draco." Her voice was a soft whisper. "You're not your father."

A shadow passed over Draco's face, but he didn't look away. Instead a small smile appeared on his lips.

"Thanks, 'Mione. I-" He hesitated. "I think we need to talk."

Hermione knew that that wasn't what he'd been about to say in the beginning, but instead of pointing it out, she just nodded. She knew what he wanted to talk about.

Draco drew a deep breath. "I know I treated you like...shit, and worse than that, the other night when you told me. And my only excuse is that I was shocked. To be honest, I hadn't even thought that this could happen, not once, which is incredibly stupid. But I suppose blaming you didn't make it any better." He actually flushed a little, and Hermione smiled.

"No, it didn't," she said, "But what's done is done, and the only thing we should worry about now is what to do."

Draco pulled a hand through his hair, a gesture Hermione had seen him do many times when they'd studied together, which usually ment that he didn't know what to say.

"'Mione, I...it's just, the time..." he stuttered.

Hermione shook her head. "Draco, please. Do me a favor and be honest with me."

He looked surprised, and a little uncomfortable, but nodded. "Allright. 'Mione, I don't want it."

In the silence that followed, those four words echoed inside Hermione's head. She didn't know how they were suppose to make her feel. She'd known what his feeling about the baby were, he'd made it perfectly clear when she told him, so she wasn't surprised. But she wasn't relieved or hurt either. She was just...numb. When Draco had said those four words, all emotions had left Hermione, and she was feeling oddly empty.

She nodded. "I knew you would say that," she said, for she didn't know what else to say.

Draco looked closely at her, as if waiting for her to fall apart and start crying hysterically.

"So, what do you think?" he asked.

"Does it matter what I think?" Hermione didn't recognize her own voice, it seemed to be comming from a far.

"Of course it does!" Draco seemed very concerned, and Hermione couldn't understand why. "It's your child too, you must have some feelings about it. Do you want to keep it, or-? Because if you do, I'll take my responsibility. I might not want it, but I'm an honest man, 'Mione, you know that. Whatever you choose, you won't be alone."

Hermione looked curiously at him with her head a little a skew. _So many words, so hard to understand._ She shook her head.

"Draco...I think I'll take a walk." She rose suddenly, hitting her knees on the edge of the table.

"Allright, I'll come with you." Draco rose too and immeditately sat down again, his face the the colour of ash.

Hermione forced herself to smile. "Don't be silly, Draco, you're still sick. I've lived in this castle for six years, I think I can manage a simple walk." She headed towards the exit. "I won't be long, but don't sit up and wait."

The portrait closed behind her, and everything went black and quiet. Hermione started walking down a corridor, not knowing, and not really caring, where she went. _It must be very late,_ she thought absentmindedly. The corridors were all empty, and no speech or laughter echoed between the stonewalls in this usually so crowded part of the castle. Hermione walked on tiptoe at first, since she'd forgotten to put her shoes back on, but then she became unaware of the cold, and of where she went, and just walked.

**_I don't want it._ **Those four words echoed inside Hermione's head for every step she took, trying to make her insane, but instead making her more and more angry.

_Well, what the hell do I care, _she thought._ I don't want it either. Or do I? After all, it is a human being inside my body. A new little witch or wizard that might one day walk through this corridors like I do now, trying to figure ut how to make feathers fly._ Hermione laughed at the memory of Ron trying to manage _Wingardium Leviosa_ in their first year. She'd hated him, oh, how she'd hated him. And he'd become her best friend. Oh, the adventures they'd experienced together. That troll in the bathroom. And Hagrid's dragon, Norbert. And the Polyjuice Potion in their second year. _What was I thinking, allowing Harry and Ron to turn into Crabbe and Goyle just to question Malfoy. No, wait, it's Draco now, right, he's my boyfriend, no, ex-boyfriend, and we're going to have a child together. No, wait, he doesn't want it, right, so it's me who's going to have a baby. On my own. Well, I can manage._

**_You won't be alone. _**Draco's last words popped up and replaced the others inside her head. **_Not alone._** So he would pay her for the child, but he wouldn't want to have anything to do with it, was that what he ment? Hermione laughed and felt something warm and wet slide own her cheek. She reached up and touched it, tasted it. A tear. She was crying, for that single tear had been closely followed by others. **_You won't be alone._** She bonced againt a wall, the tears blurring her vision. _Like hell I won't. If he doesn't want the baby, I am on my own. But I can manage on my own. I don't need him or anyone else._

She passed a window, and she stopped and dried her tears, looking out on the view. She was in the North part of the castle, looking out over the mountains. The moon was shining high up in the sky, shimmering in the snow that lay over the grounds, making everything looking slightly surrealistic.

Hermione started humming to herself, a lullaby her mother had used to sing to her when she was a little girl.

"_Sweet dreams, my darling, sweet dream. I'll be here when you wake up, tomorrow, another day. Sweet dreams, my darling, sweet dreams._"

A hand was put on her shoulder, and she spun around.

"Draco!" she cried out. "What the hell are you doing here? I told you I'd be fine on my own." She glared at him.

"'Mione, I- I was worried about you." Draco seemed confused by her outburst. "I didn't think you should be on your own, you seemed a little odd and confused." He looked closely at her. "Are you allright?"

"I don't need your help, thank you very much, I can take care of myself." Hermione turned her back on him. "I'm on my own now, I don't need you." She started walking again, but for some reason, the tears had started falling again, and she fell against a wall. "Why don't you want me?" she whimpered. "Aren't I good enough for you?"

She felt him put a hand on her shoulder, but she spun around, and it fell off. "What's wrong with me?" she screamed at him. "No, wait, what's wrong with you? What kind of person does not want their own child?" She lent against the wall, shaking and sobbing.

Draco put his hands on her shoulders. Hermione tried to shake him off, but he only held on tighter and pulled her closer to him.

"I do want you, 'Mione, I do. Can't you just come back to the dorm and we can talk there?" He began to gently pull her towards their dormitory, but Hermione broke free.

"I'm not going with you anywhere, I'm fine right here!" she cried.

"'Mione, you're hysteric. Can't you just let me lead you back?" Draco reached out for her, but Hermione backed away.

"Don't come any nearer, or I'll- I'll hex you!" She kept walking without looking. All she could focus on was Draco's face, that was now wearing a look that was close to panic.

"Wait, 'Mione, look behind you," he cried out, but Hermione didn't listen, she just kept walking. "Hermione, the stairs!"

But it was too late. Hermione's foot landed in thin air, and she started to fall backwards. _It's true,_ she thought. _You really do fall in slow motion._ All she could see was Draco's face. Oh, how she loved him. He looked so hopeless. And then he was enveloped in darkness, and she could see no more.

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Hermione slowly opened her eyes and looked around. _Déjà vu,_ she thought. _Once again I'm waking up in the hospital wing._ She tried to sit up, but felt an immediate pain in her head and in her stomach, so she lay down again, looking out through one of the windows. The sun was filling the room, and she could see snow glistening on the treetops outside the window. _Funny,_ Hermione thought. _I can fall down a stair and probably almost break my neck, and the world will still keep going._ Opposite to how it would have made her feel a few weeks ago, this thought made her oddly calm.

She looked down at Draco, who she knew was sitting by her side, holding her hand. He was sleeping, with his head on her bed. _And I thought you couldn't love someone so much it hurts,_ Hermione thought. Would she ever be able to look at him without her heart skipping a beat? Would she ever tire a pulling her fingers through his hair, or feel his lips againt hers? Would she ever stop loving him? And would he ever love her back?

Draco stirred, lifted his head and looked at her.

"'Mione, you're awake!" He rose from the chair and bent forward and kissed her forehead. "I thought you'd never wake up," he said when he was sitting down again. "Do you know that you've been unconscious for three days, and that I've been sitting here the whole time?" Hermione smiled and shook her head, but she immediately stopped. It felt like it was going to break. "How are you feeling?" Draco asked.

"Quite well." Hermione's voice was hoarse since she hadn't used it for three days. "My whole body hurts, but I suppose that's to be expected." She squeezed Draco's hand. "Has Madam Pomfrey said anything about me?"

Draco looked down at the covers, taking her hand in both his. "'Mione...you lost the baby," he whispered.

First, Hermione just stared at him for a long time, but then she closed her eyes, trying to feel something, sadness, relief, anything but this numbness that was right now spreading throughout her entire body. _Do I have a heart of stone?_ she thought.

Draco squeezed her hand and she opened her eyes.

"I suppose this was for the best," she whispered, not wanting him to say it. "And- and now?" She swallowed. "What will happen to- to us? You and me."

Draco looked at her in silence for a long time, but then he said, "I don't know, 'Mione, I really don't know? What do you think?" When she didn't answer, he continued. "I- I actually think we could work, if we really tried, and really wanted to. I would have to controll my temper, and you'd have to lay off the know-it-all-thing you've got, but I think we could do it. And I think it would be worth it too." He became silent once more, waiting for Hermione to say something.

"I agree with you," she finally said. "I think we could make it work, if we really wanted to." She hesitated. "But I'd have to think about it."

Draco nodded. "Allright, I'll let you think about it." He rose and kissed her forehead once more. "You know where to find me when you've decided."

And he turned to walk away. When he reached the doors, he hesitated with his hand on the doorknob, and then her turned around and looked at her. It was...the most vulnerable look Hermione had ever seen, on anybody. He looked so unsure, as if he didn't know what to think about anything.

Suddenly he came back to her bed and bent down and kissed her. It was a soft, gentle kiss, the kind that usually means 'I love you', but it this case, Hermione knew, ment something totally different. She just didn't know what.

She was the one to first break the kiss.

"I'll tell you when I'm done thinking," she said, her voice much firmer than she'd thought it would be.

Draco just nodded, and left the Hospital Wing.


	9. All for the best

**Author's notes: **So here it is, the ending that came a little sooner than I'd planned, but that I still love. Many will probably want to chop my head off, but please don't, 'cause then you won't have a sequel. That I actually have in mind, but that won't be up for a year since I'm going to France.

This chapter, no, the whole story, is for **SugarQuill Cutie**, my lovely BETA, who helped me through this story, since I decided to write almost all of it in a week. Thanks so much, love!

So, for the last time, enjoy!

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**Epilogue**

My seventh year at Hogwarts was very eventful, and that's putting it mildly. When I look back at that one year, no, not even that, on those six months, I often wonder if I did the right things, made the right choices. And I have often gotten the question, the very cliché question, "Would you do it one more time, just like that?". And I think I would. When you think about it, what could have been done differently? When the wheel starts turning, you can't do anything but keep going. The show must go on, you know.

That fall down the stairs changed my life in more ways than one, more than anyone but me knows. I might have lied a little about that event to my friends and family, or at least I didn't tell the whole truth.

I wasn't unconscious for three days, as they all think I were. I was awake when I was brought to the hospital wing, a fact no-one but Madam Pomfrey noticed. I feared for the life of my baby, and I asked Madam Pomfrey if she'd be able to save it. She said she would, and in the matter of two seconds, I made the decision that really changed my life. I asked her to make me uncoinscous, save the baby, but tell everybody I'd lost it. I didn't know back then why I asked that of her, or if it was the right thing to do. And I never thought Madam Pomfrey would agree to do it, but she did.

When I fell asleep from the potion she'd given me, my last thought was that I'd bought myself a few more days of uncertainty in this mad affair that was my life. But for good or bad, I did not know.

When I woke up three days later and saw Draco sleeping by my side, my heart almost broke. And I knew why I'd done what I did. I loved him, and I didn't want to destroy his life by giving him a baby he didn't want. For Merlin's sake, we were seventeen! I knew that many of those who got married in the wizarding world met at Hogwarts, but if that was to happen to me and Draco, I wanted it to because we loved each other, not because we had a child together.

When Draco said he was prepared to try again, prepared to give us another chance, I wasn't really surprised. But I wasn't happy either, as I should have been. After all, I did love him. But what he asked of me, without knowing it, was to choose between him and my baby. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make, but even though I asked for some time to think, I'd allready chosen. Just before I fell down the stairs, I made my decision.

I'm happy with my life the way it is now. I love my husband, my family. When I come home after a long day at the office, and I see my two girls, Samira and Isabelle, playing in the garden, and when my husband meets me in the door to welcome me home, I feel that life can't be much better than it is now. And when I go to bed at night, often very early, and I lay there waiting for him to come and join me, I don't feel anything but grateful. My husband is a good man, no matter what everybody else says about him, or me. But when he has fallen asleep, with his arms in a tight grip around me, I lay awake, and all the memories come back to me. And I feel so much older than twenty three. Merlin, am I really that young? There's so much more I could be doing than work at the Ministry and raise a family. But I suppose this is the life I've choosen. And I'm happy with that. Really. But every now and then, there's a cloud on the sky of happiness.

I come to the office in the mornings, and I meet Him, in the elevator or in the Entrance Hall. And time stops. I'm seventeen again, about to make the hardest decision of my life. Had I choosen differentely, Merlin knows what the picture would look like. There would probably just be one girl running around in my garden when I come home from work. There would probably be another man to meet me in the door. Whose arms I know are stronger than my husbands, whose lips are the ones I taste in my dreams. Whose eyes I could never resist.

But then time continues, and I realize, as I always do, that it couldn't have worked. We would still be fighting over every single thing, and in the end, one of us would have left the other. Because in the end we would never have been quite sure of the other's love.

Sam, my husband, has many times asked me "Are you happy, Hermione? With me and the girls." And I say that I am. I say that what I had with Him back then was nothing but passion, pure sex. But I know deep inside that I lie, and I think Sam knows it too.

Sam is a good man. He married me, even though he knew all the time that my heart will always lie with another. He took care of Samira as if she was his own daughter. How many men would do that? My husband is the best, and I can't do him justice.

I haven't spoken to Draco since the day I told him that I was leaving him. He doesn't know Samira is his daughter. No-one knows that except for me and Madam Pomfrey, who promised me she'd never tell anyone. I still don't know if what I asked of her was right. Would Draco have stayed with me for me, and not for the baby? That's a questions whose answer I will never get. Because if life continues like it is now, Draco will never know he has a daughter.

I am twenty three, but I feel much older. I feel like fifty, have done for the past six years. My time of being a child ended the day I fell in love with Draco Malfoy. The people who knew me back then won't recognize me nowadays. Those how knew me as "'Mione" won't get an answer if they call me that. No-one has called me that since my seventh year at Hogwarts, when everything happened faster than I could cope with.

And when I walk through the halls at work I think about all these things, about how life is and how it could have been. And I know that it's good as it is now. I know Draco is happy with his wife, as I am with Sam. But I sometimes wonder if he thinks about the past as much as I do. If he also regret some of the things he did. And I wonder if he, in the middle of the cold lonely nights that everybody experiences, misses me as much as I miss him.

I will always wonder how life could have been if I had chosen Draco instead of Samira. Samira wouldn't even be that to me, she would just be "my baby". And even though there won't ever be a day when I don't wish that things would have turned out differently, I now that what happened was "For the best".

**THE END**

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**Author's notes: **So this it it. The end. There won't be anymore Dramonie from me for a whole year. But ler us all be thankful that I at least finished this story. I wrote a whole fic in a week. Cheers for me! And I did promise you individual thank yous:s this time, I know.

**myateriouscharm: **Well, you know now that the baby wasn't lost, I just had to make it sound like that. Thanks for all the reviews uyo've give me!

**Lina Natsuki: **And I've had a lot of fun with **SugarQuill** too lol And thanks for saying that you love the story, anf for all the reviews!

**S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.f.e: **Draco actually can be trusted. When it comes to Hermione, he can. He just didn'tknow how to show her, and he had to pay for that. Thanks for the reviews, I'll miss spelling out your funny name!

**RavensWritingProphecies: **Sorry, no Dramonie in this one. At least not in the way I think you hoped. And Hermione told Draco she lost the baby because she wanted some confirmation that he did love her, even though by saving the baby, she left him without knowing it then. Thanks so much for the reviews!

**Captain-Ammie: **I know, but I think, over all, this is a sad fic. Thanks for the review!

**rockinchic2104: **Yes, I know, the ending came a little sooner than I'd hoped, I'd wanted some more Dramonie, but time wouldn't allow it. And I do have a sequel in mind, but you'll have to wait a long time for that. Thanks for the reviews!

**sunmoonsandstars: **They did know they loved the other, just not that the other loved them, do you understand? But I agree, poor Hermione, even though I put her in that situation. Thanks for the review!

**cheeze: **Well, now you know that the baby was kept, even though that resulted in no Draco. But for Hermione, it was a tough choice, I can tell you that! Thanks for the reviews!

**SugarQuill Cutie: **Ah, my lovely BETA! This is goodbye! (for now, you won't get rid of me that easy) Thanks for saying that I made the story work, I really tried, you know lol My goodbye mail is on itäs way! Thanks for all the help, and the reviews!

**Broken Monroe: **I think they already were apart when she "lost" the baby, that was just the last drop, if you know what I mean. They argued too much to stay together, even though they loved each other more than anything. Thanks for the reviews!

**wiccan-witch88: **Well, we can't know if he's OOC, since we've never seen him quite like that before. But when I wrote that, I had to choose between OOC or very IC, and I decided for the first. I want a little fluff, a little sensitive Draco lol Thanks for the reviews!

**Christine: **She didn't lose the baby, but if she really had, she wouldn't have been together with Draco. But, come to think about it, we can't really know that, can we? Thanks for the review!

**angel-1844:** Intriging storyline? And that was the last chapter...wow...or? Well, anyway, thanks for the reviews!

**Vidagami041286:** Really quite like it? That was a nice review lol Thanks for the review!

And thanks to everyone else who's reviewed too, I really appreciate it. Questions about this chapter, or about the story, or...anything? Mail me, but I might not answer in a while lol

Thanks so much, and that's all from me!

Love, Sofia


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